You might be wondering why there’s been such a gap with nothing new posted here. It’s not because I didn’t want to write, but purely because each time I started to draft something my stomach would end up in knots and I’d delete it. I’ll try to sketch out something here, but it will necessarily be partial, and what I write below are my personal thoughts, in no way reflecting those of any particular group of people, although some of you may find some of my words resonate… On disappointment.

October 7th, 2023 was when the first glimpses appeared. Because of the time difference, we were actually celebrating Simchat Torah when the attacks were still ongoing. A decision had to be made on whether to celebrate or not, and, with the extent of the attacks still not fully known, we did celebrate, albeit in an adjusted way. Afterwards when looking at the news and on social media, the true horror became quickly apparent.

The worst attack on Jews since the Holocaust.

The images and sounds, which I will never forget, live-streamed by the perpetrators.

Around 3000 terrorists entered Israel from Gaza, murdering 1200 people and kidnapping another 251. Most victims were civilians. People in my community of course knew some of those who were killed or kidnapped (see the end of this post for some context).

The first disappointment was glimpsed as the attack was still happening, as medics tried to save those who were horrifically injured. The work to identify the bodies would continue for many months—that’s what happens when people are deliberately burnt alive in their homes. Yet on the very same day that terrorists had gleefully slaughtered innocent civilians, children, pets, I saw the first posts on social media celebrating them. No, not celebrating the lives of the victims, celebrating the sadistic murderers.

And then the next day, October 8th, it got worse. People now accusing the Israeli victims of instigating the attack because they were ‘oppressors’. And the next day, and the next, my disappointment rose further and further, because now it wasn’t just random strangers on social media, it was people I considered to be friends, good friends, calling for ‘resistance’ against Israel, against ‘Zionists’.

So why was I, and am I still, disappointed? (I’m not outraged—oh, I was, but that was before my eyes were really opened). It’s because these people, these friends of mine, weren’t suddenly radicalized through misinformation and lack of critical thinking ability. They weren’t dopes. No, let’s bullet point it:

• Without fail, these were intelligent people, all with university degrees, several with higher degrees.
• They were minorities themselves. Ethnic and gender/sexual minorities.
• They were (and still are) so absolutely certain of their position, that even when presented with conflicting facts, they wouldn’t consider them, let alone accept them.
• Nuance, complexity—the hallmarks of true, careful, thinking—were thrown out and in their place was the imposition of theory, even if that theory isn’t well-suited to the reality.

I lost many friendships but I’m mostly disappointed in the way they fell apart. People so quick to put me into the box of ‘oppressor’, when for other minorities they wouldn’t have done this (I know, because I marched with some of these friends, I shared and created campaign material).

I can’t think of any other minority where we would expect their opponents to be trusted with definitions and characterizations over those given by the members of the minority group themselves but apparently when it comes to Jews that’s the appropriate approach to take. So we have antizionists defining Zionism. We have non-Jews defining Judaism. It’s not only wrong in terms of relations of power, it’s methodologically unsound. At the very least take on different perspectives and understand some of the complexity of historical and current experience. Would you send young students to learn about sexual minorities by sending them to homo/transphobes?

I am so very disappointed.

I’ll end with some information which seems to have surprised some people I’ve spoken to since October 7th, 2023:

• The number of Jews in the world isn’t 300 million (as someone suggested to me), it’s around 15.2 million. The population before the Holocaust was around 16.6 million. The Jewish population still hasn’t recovered from the Holocaust. Most non-Jews seem to vastly overestimate not only the power that Jews have in the world (hello antisemitism) but even on a basic level, the number of Jews in the world.
• (For comparison, the number of people in Tokyo is around 14.2 million.)
• Around 50% of Jews live in Israel. When you’re calling for the eradication of Israel, you’re calling for the eradication of half of the Jews (not ‘Zionists’ in the abstract characterization you’re using, Jews).
• The majority of Jews outside of Israel are either explicitly Zionists (in their own use of that word), or believe in the importance of the State of Israel in their lives. When you’re calling for ‘Zionist-free spaces’ you’re calling for Jew-free spaces.
• Israel isn’t Algeria (those who follow a particular model of oppression and resistance will know what I’m talking about).

This isn’t easy to talk about and it’s the kind of thing that friends should be able to carefully think about together. My friends, however, very quickly abandoned someone who might have been a source of information and who, along with the rest of his community was in shock and grieving, and decided to join weekly anti-Israel protests instead. They still are.

Disappointing.